Inappropriate chat

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06/23/2010 02:17 pm
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[webmaster]

One of the great things about bocking is that there is no age barriers, and this is reflected within the community as we see daily how well the varied ages get on, which is lovely and one of the things I doubt you will get to see in any other sport.

However it has come to my attention that there are some adults who are behaving in a very inappropriate manner when talking to younger members. This is an extremely delicate subject and where children under the age of 16 are concerned this improper chat becomes a child protection matter and it is something that is totally unacceptable, morally wrong and in fact illegal.

This is something that everyone needs to think about, as its often forgotton how young or old the person you are talking are when they are faceless. Yes, we are a community but at the end of the day the people you are talking to are STRANGERS and  if you are under 16, it is strongly recommended that you do not give out your email address, msn addy or chat about personal details in the chat room.

Here are some guidelines that I feel are essential and if anyone has further guidelines that should be added please suggest them below:

GUIDELINES FOR UNDER 16
1. Please visit http://www.thinkuknow.co.uk for full internet safety tips
2. Don’t give out your personal details to online mates.
3. Personal stuff includes your messenger id, email address, mobile number and any pictures of you, your family or friends.
4. Remember If you publish a picture or video online – anyone can change it or share it.
5. It’s easier to get on with people online and say stuff you wouldn’t offline – think about what you say carefully
6. Some people lie online – don’t believe everything you are told
7. It’s better to keep online mates online. Don’t meet up with any strangers without an adult you trust. Better to be uncool than unsafe!
8. It’s never too late to tell someone if something makes you feel uncomfortable.
9. There are people who can help. Report online child abuse (http://www.ceop.gov.uk/reportabuse/index.asp) , or find more advice and support.
10. Stay on first name or screen name basis, don’t give out your full name
11. Be careful about what you say in chat and who you are chatting to, remember not all members are your age some are a lot older, if you feel someone is chatting to you inappropriately, or you feel uncomfortable please show the conversation to your parents or guardians. If you feel you would rather talk to someone within the community please copy the conversation and approach me, Jason, Becky or Locky and we can advise you further.

GUIDELINES FOR OVER 16
1. Please visit http://www.thinkuknow.co.uk for full internet safety tips there is good advise here which would also help you ensure that members are staying within the recommended guides.
2. Please bear in mind the above guidelines for the under 16’s as most can be applied for you too
3. Remember think carefully about what you say to people you dont know, they may not be as old as you think they are. If you are uncomfortable with a conversation save it and send it to one of us (me, Jason, Becky or Locky), and leave the convo immediately.
4. Dont ask for personal information from other people unless you know they are over 16, if in doubt ask the person if they are over 16
5. Remember if you feel that someone is acting inappropriately, you should report it straightaway.

Any members found to be talking in an inappropriate manner will be banned.

Thank you for reading.

[Dark Knight]

 This is very sensible and logical topic which everyone one should remember. We talk to one another with no real regard to age or gender rather the respect we hold for that person. Under 16's as well as over 16's should remember these things when writing or replying for even tho you may feel comfortable your statment could be highly inappropriate give your two ages. Regardless of age,gender is admiral never the less it should alway be taken into acount.

[Charlie B]

Good post Naz

Guidelines are excellent

Those over 16 please be aware that this area is very strongly enforced by the authorities with some good reason.

The best way to think of internet use is to wonder what your boss, mum, dad might think about what you are saying,

[Locky]

6. Some people lie online – don’t believe everything you are told

Excellent post Naz, you really cannot underestimate people lying online.
Also its far easier to paint a perfect picture to someone over a private chat or msn.
Almost every national story about a 15 yr old girl disappearing for a few days with a 20 or 30 something man is down to the older man painting a perfect picture which in reality is far from perfect. And its not always guys, there are stories of older women doing the same with 15 yr old guys, some were even teachers.

It's a nasty world out there and you need to learn some common sense and then apply it.

[Jason]

Nicely put Naz

Some times it is very easy to mistake someone for being older as a lot of our younger members on here are very mature mentaly and can hold a clear and precise conversation on a level that you would find supprising in someone of 30 odd (and in my case vice versa  )

So it is always worth dropping over to their profile and checking age before an making an innocent comment that would pass easily between adults adults as a joke but could be misconstrued if you were addressing someone younger

So keep you wits about you all us oldies 

Jason 

[toddy]

and just to add, i do give out my number if some one askes me for it for meets etc, and i welcome anyone to our meets and it is allways good to see caring parents.

and just to add a bit about jasons old people on here any one over 20 is old compaired to most of the poeple on here, and you do have to watch what you say.

[clive]

well said naz, think everyone should be carefull what they say and how they say things to other members and like jason states its very easy to check members profile. its very nice to see that this site is being monitored

[Dark Knight]

well said naz, think everyone should be carefull what they say and how they say things to other members and like jason states its very easy to check members profile. its very nice to see that this site is being monitored

Has there is no check that the date of birth is correct in the first place it should not be trusted as persons with hidden agendas can simple place any date down. Not only that but at anytime afterwards by a simple edit of ones profile details

[Jason]

Good point DK

I check it because most kids will either put there real age or add a year or two to sound older so at least I have some idea of what level of joke is ok as I will make a joke to someone like "Q" about him being unfaithfull to me (as I did the other day) wheras that sort of comment would be unsuitable to a youngster from an old guy like me

And if I did check and the person had said they were 18+ at least I have tried and can show that if someone asks

So for me it's a good check but for a youngster it would be useless as like you say anyone can lie about there age

Jason 

[Dark Knight]

I moderate for a dating website and have to check profiles and know it's not easy to spot a liers ( I've noted that men a more likely to lie 19 out of 20 times ? ).

[Trip]

This is a very responsible post that i totally agree with, infact i think it so relavant that the other forums should consider posting the info and points that NAZ has made.  Cheers bockers Rich out

[Becky]

These rules all sound good, and I just hope people think about them!
We want everyone to have fun and make new friends, but more importantly to stay safe.

[scruff]

very good idea there
well done